Satsang Blog

Ever since I was a child, the festivities of the winter holidays always captivated my senses with a feeling of magical amazement. One particular part I always looked forward to was seeing all the twinkle lights people would string around their houses, making the seemingly-average home now glow in illuminated spectacle.

Now as an adult, I reflect on memories such as the twinkle lights to discover a deeper meaning. On one hand, they are just lights strung together to decorate households that wish to be a part of the collective holiday experience, but as a student of consciousness, I realize they can also symbolize more.

For me, I came to understand how self-acceptance is about loving the seemingly weaker parts of ourselves, so that we may transition from the judgment of individual aspects of self to accepting the sum of our parts in collective gratitude.

We learn to accept all of who we are because every part of self is a connected aspect of the essence of Light the self embodies. To find the essence of Spirit in the unlikely parts of self, is the greatest way to expand our capacity to live in unconditional love. I then realized how human consciousness is like the twinkle lights I've always enjoyed. Each light is equally important in connecting with the others, to hold the energetic charge so light may shine throughout the entire strand, in radiant wholeness.

I then reflected on how often times most of the twinkle lights will glow with one pesky light not cooperating with the others. I began thinking of the various parts of self that I've always worked so hard to hide from the world…the parts I feared others would discover because it would surely prevent me from being seen as I hoped to be seen. These shadow parts of self are just like those pesky twinkle lights that remain unlit.

These lights are waiting for a current of energy to come along to make the experience better than what it's been, not realizing, whether lit or not, they are connected to an entire strand of twinkle lights already glowing. When the defiant twinkle light stops rejecting itself from the strand by feeling separate and different from the whole, its fuse connects with the others and now can share the spark needed for collective illumination.

These resistant twinkle lights are the parts of self that don't realize they are part of the complete connection already embodying the light they are waiting to discover. As the collective strand of twinkle lights we call humanity, we are free to allow self-acceptance to welcome every unlit twinkle light or unappreciated aspect of self to be seen as a vital part of the collective presence.

We recognize how an experience without all parts of self fully present may lead us to feeling incomplete or unfulfilled. To be fully present is to bring every part of you into full acceptance and may begin in any moment.

As this awakening occurs, we participate in a unifying glow as all twinkle lights individually harmonize into the collective beauty of our reality.

© Copyright 2007 True Divine Nature, LLC

"Many times I am not in the flow.
I see it, feel it, but cannot change it.
Sometimes during satsang, even when our eyes meet, I cannot connect with you.
Other times, I'm suddenly flooded with you and you are not even physically present -
what a mystery.
You say that we have a choice - if so, the only choice is to accept everything
exactly as it is, to trust that life is unfolding in perfection, even when I cannot see it.
But I sense that even this choice is a happening, a gift - it is not my choice.
And then, what remains is simply gratefulness."

"You say we have a choice."

I say many things, but like all good people, I contradict myself - that's how life is. I say that you have to make a choice only in the very beginning. Who makes the choice? The personality, the ego.

It's much better to be a happy ego than to be a miserable ego. When you first live your life a little more freely, a little happier, with a little more courage - it becomes much easier to take risks. The ultimate risk is to drop all choice, and that is understanding.

"You say we have a choice."

Maybe I say that, but we have no choice. But that is after you know about the flow, after you know that life is a gift, when you know surrender, when you know gratefulness - it is after you know how it is to be free of your ego. Then there is no choice, because only "somebody" can have a choice.

It is very difficult to talk about this because of the old trap; when I say there is no choice, you feel no need to do anything.
For most people this fits perfectly, so they go on living as stupidly as they always have done, just trusting God..

First you have to get out of the mud, you have to clean yourself. When it starts happening, when you are cleansed, silent, and God visits- then you can relax. That is meditation, that is acceptance, that is surrender - then there is no choice. How can there be any choice? Who are you in the first place to choose? It is just silly.

But this is not understood at the beginning of the journey, and it brings a lot of conflict. Nisargadatta or Ramana wouldn't say there is a choice. Yet Osho, out of his deep understanding of modern man, says there is a choice.

First you have to take responsibility - you have to start where you are.
Then a time comes when there is no responsibility, no choice - because there is no you! But before that time. just again and again, be open, feel grateful, feel the mystery. Then the only choice is to accept everything exactly as it is.

But all things can be misunderstood.

This is a right understanding. But to accept everything exactly as it is, when you are down in the mud, is just a poop-out.
And you understand, you know, because you have been there.

The time to drop all doing is when everything is a gift - and anyway, then it drops by itself.

There is no choice, really, because everything happens as it is supposed to happen.

When you are at that point - when understanding is happening - you see there is no choice and you just relax. That only comes out of understanding. It has to be a happy acceptance, a happy surrender, which the mind cannot understand.

"It is not my choice."

It is not, and has never been your choice But as long as you are identified with "my", "mine" and "I", there is of course a choice.

So just relax, be happy, feel life as a gift, let the understanding go deeper.

There is nothing to do, just live the mystery.

"Neither man, nor woman
Not even human
When stillness softly descends
Presence arises as an infinite ocean
And seeking dissolves into being
No one here, nobody there
Only love, only silence
Gratitude becomes devotion"

As you go deep in yourself, deep in meditation, gratitude will come. Meditation means a true understanding of how things are - this understanding will bring an immense gratitude, almost too much to feel, to understand. It is too much. and this gratitude, as you say, becomes devotion.

It is the same the other way around; when there is true devotion, and as you go deeper and deeper, you learn the beauty and the ecstasy of devotion. And there will be such gratitude ... You will know that this is the only thing that matters - to be devoted to That, to This, to Love, to Truth, to Freedom.

Gratitude is really the essence of meditation, of self inquiry, of who you are. When you go to the source, there will be devotion - a true devotion, for now you have felt It. Only the heart can understand devotion - nobody from the mind can, no ego can.

Devotion means that you are always ready for your beloved, for your truth. The master is only an excuse, but without him you'd never have experienced this divine devotion. It cleanses you from all your egoistic things - you manage to go beyond your limits, you forget yourself in devotion. When you forget yourself, there is only love. Out of love, gratitude will come, and out of gratitude. there is such peace. how to talk about this, how to share this?

"No one here, nobody there - only love, only silence. Gratitude becomes devotion".

This fragrance only comes once in a while - when it comes, follow it. You can only talk about love, meditation and devotion to meditators, to devotees - otherwise, it is almost sacrilegious, because it's not understood.

I'm talking to your heart. You'll only understand if your heart is ignited. Learn to listen to your heart - learn to be silent and listen to the heart.

Consciousness is affected but not harmed. It is the nature of aware consciousness to be affected by everything it experiences. Every color and sound, every event and experience, and every passing thought or feeling affects your consciousness. That is why we call it consciousness. A rock is not as affected by these things, and so we consider a rock less conscious than a person.

And yet consciousness is not harmed by anything. That is its nature, that it cannot be harmed. The form of anything can be permanently changed or harmed. Your body can be harmed, but the consciousness that inhabits your body cannot be harmed.

This is good news. It is like a get out of jail free card in Monopoly. No matter what happens, you as consciousness are completely unharmed. What a relief! There is nothing that can harm you. No one and nothing has ever harmed you.

This is not to say that consciousness is not affected deeply by both the good and bad things that happen to us. Every hurtful and unkind act leaves an impression in the consciousness of those involved. It is just that the impression does not permanently limit or damage the awareness of those involved. If something has an effect on us that is permanent, then it could be said that it has harmed us. But if the effect is temporary, then what is the ultimate harm? Everything that profoundly affects our awareness, from the painful to the tragic, eventually passes. It is the miracle of our consciousness that it can heal from any wound, even if our body cannot.

What you are is eternal aware space or consciousness. You have a body, but you are not that body. So, while your body can be permanently harmed just like your car or your camera can be harmed, you as consciousness eventually heal or recover from all of the experiences that affect you. Even if the affect lasts for lifetimes, eventually the karma or debt is released. From the perspective of something eternal, even many lifetimes is not that long.

When you realize that your true nature as consciousness cannot be harmed, that puts all of life’s difficulties in perspective. Similarly, when someone’s car is totaled in an accident but they are not hurt, we consider them lucky. This is because we have a perspective on the relative importance of damage to their car. It’s not such a big deal really, especially relative to a serious physical injury or death. If you realize that you are aware space, then everything else is like the totaled car: no big deal.

Some things are still more important than others. Physical harm is still a bigger difficulty than harm to a car or other physical object. But by knowing the truth of your nature as un-harmable space, then the bigger difficulties and even tragedies in life can be seen in perspective.

A simple question to ask is, What effect does this experience have on my eternal soul? And while everything leaves an impression on your awareness and ultimately your soul, nothing can ever permanently harm your soul, your true nature as empty awareness. In fact, every experience enriches your soul. Every moment adds to the depth and richness of your deepest knowing. We sense this in people who have faced a lot of difficulty in life and who are willing to accept their fate. There is a depth and wisdom that only comes from a wide range of experience, including painful and unwanted experiences.

This willingness to meet and have any experience can come from the simple recognition that what you are is open spacious awareness. Your body, mind, personality, emotions and desires all appear within that awareness, but they are not you, and the real you cannot be harmed.

Throughout all the vivid memories of life, the sweetest ones I can remember seemed to have had a distinct connection with chocolate. As a child, chocolate was a form of currency. My earliest memory of abundance was being the one clinging tightly to a scrumptious bar of chocolate among a sea of friends who were willing to do just about anything for even a sliver of cacao gold. As soon as the wrapper came off, chocolate was like an edible super power that had the ability to interrupt any tantrum or frustrated emotional state. It had the power to deem anything in my focus at the moment, completely irrelevant as long as the chocolate was being passed my way.

Chocolate, as it came and went in its many forms throughout my life, was a symbol of sweetness. No matter what was happening and how important I believed it to be, the chocolate would appear as a reminder that all is inherently well – and that like the chocolate, at my core, this sweetness is actually what I am.

This realization, of course, would be twenty-eight years in the making, even though the signs were there all along. The fact was that every time I ate a piece of chocolate, it became clearly impossible to focus on the endless thoughts running through my mind, while simultaneously enjoying the chocolate that ignited each taste bud like an explosion of flavor, all at the same time.

The chocolate didn't seem concerned with waiting around for me to end my thought. It was there in the very moment I found it, and whether it melted in its wrapper, in my hand, or in my mouth, it remained an experience I could always enjoy if I honored it with focus and attention.

As spiritual maturity slowly woke up, I began to see these subtle teaching chocolate had always offered, not only as a symbol of sweetness, but as the sweet truth of life underneath all the noise, goal-setting and finger-pointing.

Chocolate was even revealed as my first meditation teacher, whose disguise was everything it needed to be, gently pulling my attention from the compulsion to change, fix, and judge my experience of life into simply sitting for a moment and enjoying what is here right now.

To anyone else, it might just be an oddly-shaped object or something else to see and touch in this living experience of space and senses. Once you open the wrapper, however, the deeper teachings become available as you hold and taste the distinct flavor life continues to offer, unable to fully immerse yourself in the experience, unless whatever was important a moment ago begins to fall out of focus. It is in this moment when the sweetness of life simply disguised as chocolate begins to reveal itself to you.

The teaching of chocolate showed me how my thoughts aren't as important as I once imagined. I can look back at all the times I was caught in my mind ranting about someone or something that had unjustly caused suffering in my life and all of a sudden, I was offered a piece of chocolate or as I now see it, life's funny way of telling me it was time to meditate.

I would eat the chocolate and as I did, the thoughts weren't there as they were before. Now it was the joyful consideration of how wonderfully the almonds and dark chocolate blended together, as the chocolate pointed to the arbitrary nature of thought by offering me an opportunity to fully enjoy life, just as it is.

The chocolate would soon be eaten and I wouldn't be able to remember what I was thinking about and even if I did, I couldn't get back to the same emotional pull that made it so important only a few moments ago. If I was truly meant to keep thinking about it, how is it that it could be so easily forgotten or destroyed by the dharma of chocolate?

Chocolate became the kryptonite my pointless, self-indulgent thoughts could never rival. One by one thoughts would come and go, vanishing from a mind that once labeled each one as true, vital and necessary to dwell on, and in the end, all that was left was a teacher called chocolate inviting me to be one with the sweetness of life.

The teachings transformed my entire perspective of life. I am truly humbled by this gift of clear vision that now sees a beautiful world, as whole and unique as each piece of chocolate that somehow found its way to me.

© Copyright 2008 True Divine Nature, LLC

The "you" who is chasing enlightenment will never become enlightened. Instead of striving towards some distant goal that you will never reach, Adyashanti invites you to stop and ask: How am I avoiding the enlightenment that is already present in each moment? How am I seeing separation where it doesn't exist?

"Dear Swaha

I sit here, alone in a cabin, looking at the mountain - the fog is rising from the forest and playing with the trees. The silence is falling over me like a warm blanket. I like the silence - and to be alone with myself.
The last year this desire to be alone has become stronger and stronger.

Many days I go crazy with all the noise from the outside world - people, cars, media, traffic, music... it pulls me out of my centre and makes me sick. I don't know how to stay in the centre in my daily life. It is a challenge for me.
Maybe you have some advice on how to be in silence."

This desire to be alone, in silence, which is becoming stronger and stronger, just means that consciousness is knocking on the door - that something else is waking up.

You no longer fit in so easily, like a machine. Every society wants you to be a machine, a name, a number - so you won't think, so you are easier to handle. When people start waking up, they have a hard time to fit in, especially when they live in places which are not nurturing for silence. Sheep go together, lions go alone. Something is starting to wake up, you want more space, and you want to leave the sheep.

Remember, the truth is that it doesn't matter where you live, or how you live, what you do, or what you work with. But don't fool yourself - this might not be the truth for you, since these things still affect you.

Look at yourself, how you live, how you behave. Look at what you are doing. Ask yourself whether it is good for you or not. Most people live unconsciously and never ask themselves these questions. Maybe they have been living happily and stupidly, going to the sardine factory every morning, looking into a wall from their backyard.very nice.
Suddenly you wake up one day and wonder: what the fuck am I doing! These questions are uncomfortable - because they mean change, and sleepy human beings don't want change.

You can dream about freedom, about enlightenment, about love - you can dream about meditation and silence. But remember, you have to pay for it - and the price is to be true to yourself. And there is no way that you can sneak around it.

I'm not saying that you need to go to the mountains or to the Himalayas. I know that you can find silence anywhere. But from my own experience, even when you know this, you tend to choose the more tranquil places - and you enjoy the silence even more.

When you are seeking silence - when this desire starts knocking on the door, it is definitely helpful to find places with more silence. To be with silent people will help you more than just having silence around - because you are not so silent yet that you can just be silent in nature.

People always have to talk - they have forgotten the beauty of being in silence with others. This is a very unique place, and we have long retreats in silence, just so you can have a balance to your never-ending blabbering.

When you have come to the point you are describing, it is time to experiment more with silence. Which is very difficult in the city - with the traffic, the noise, the air pollution - and as you get more sensitive, the mental pollution.
There is mental pollution because of all the mental vibes of people, lost in their minds, in their thinking. When you become more quiet, you start feeling all the madness that is around, especially in the cities.

For thousands of years, yogis, meditators and sannyasins have moved into the forests, into the mountains - to get away from this mental pollution. That is becoming harder and harder in this world, and more needed than ever.

Many people are starting to realize that silence has become a luxury, and that one should nurture it. And that's why you are here.

I can only tell you one thing: Be true to yourself - go to places where you feel at home, where you feel silence, peace and no pollution - or just be more here.